Joshua David Thayer

Art, drawing, photos, etc.

Detail of a thing.

Can’t tell if it’s getting better or worse yet.

Paint layers.

Charcoal and acrylic (detail).

Paints, brushes, easel.

Charcoal marks (detail).

Brushstrokes.

Charcoal.

Destruction.

I  managed to successfully destroy all feelings of preciousness that had developed for this first new canvas by making an utter mess of it.

Today’s mission was to paint over areas that were feeling “right,” to choose colors that felt wrong, to grab a larger brush than instinct dictated, move the paint in the opposite direction of what felt right — to work away from the comfort to create the opportunity for a journey back that would be more fulfilling and more earned.

The first half has been accomplished. There is no enthusiasm for this canvas right now and it is in dire need of rescue.

Marks.

It’s easy to attach meaning and weight to each mark, to feel the results matter even at this early stage. Finding a way back into creating again after such a long break is challenging. It’s going to take time to remember what it feels like to have a brush in hand, to dab paint from bristles to canvas — and even longer to feel comfortable again.

Let go of the process, free the hand, loosen up. Don’t get fussy or precious yet.

It’s too early.

Paint.

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